What Will Your Costume Be?

Happy month of Halloween, everyone!  Halloween is one of my favorite holidays with the smell of crisp leaves, access to copious amounts of candy and the opportunity to dress up.  I've always been a big fan of dressing up in costume.  It could be my background in musical theater (being the tush of the camel in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat counts, right?) or that it feels fun to act so silly.  I think when it really comes down to it, though, I like dressing up in costume because it feels freeing to be someone else for a while.  

We are all seen in a certain way.  Think of a word or two that people have always used to describe you.  Nice?  Funny?  Smart?  Successful?  We've all been called things that are not nearly so positive as well, but let's not even go there for now.  I'm a big believer that we all have various sides- it just so happens that one side is typically taking the lead!  Tired of being nice or funny or smart all the time?  It's exhausting right?!  Here's my challenge for you: find a "costume" for this month that is the opposite of your go-to trait.  Let it be something you've always wanted to try but didn't think you had it in you.  It could be a trait that you admire in someone else that you want to "try on", so to speak.  Here's an example: I was always known as nice.  Sure, better that than mean or angsty but sometimes it felt vanilla and just plain boring.  My costume for this month will be a badass clad in black leather with piercings and tattoos.  No, I won't dress in this get up every day or maybe even at all.  However, I will carry the spirit of it and it will empower me to stand my ground, speak my mind, and be ok with people not liking me all the time.  Get it? Eventually, it'll start to feel less like a costume or an act and more like a part of you.  The more you practice this aspirational side, the more it becomes a natural part of you that you can call on whenever you need it. 

What'll your costume be?  Be in contact if you want to discuss this more!  I do this type of work with my clients to increase self awareness and break out of go-to habits. Happy Halloween! Mwaaahahahah!

How Do Coaching And Therapy Differ?

Lately I’ve gotten a lot of questions from potential clients about how coaching and therapy differ.  Both are increasing in popularity and folks in the market to “talk it out” with someone want to choose wisely.  While some people access both services simultaneously, it’s not in the budget for many to do so.   

After discussing the question of the similarities and differences with respected colleagues who are coaches and therapists, I've come to realize that the answer is not simple.  It's blurry for a variety of reasons- one being that there are so many types of coaching and therapy.  That said- I’d like to share my take with you.  I see coaching and therapy as a Venn diagram.  Coaching is in one circle, therapy is in another, and the circles overlap. 

In what ways do they overlap? 

Both provide a safe space to process emotions and “try on” new perspectives.  The unbiased professional offers tools and support as the recipient works through blockages.  They are both fabulous resources to increase self-awareness and improve key relationships.

Now, how are they different?  I see coaching and therapy as differing in three major ways:

a) The trajectory: Coaches help clients look at where they are now and where they want to go.  There’s a forward-moving trajectory.  Therapists on the other hand, support clients to look deep into their pasts to identify and make peace with what has happened up to this point so they can move forward unencumbered. 

b) The issues that get addressed: Clients tend to go to a coach when they’re in a big life transition and want support from an outside person.  The transition could be related to job/career, romantic/familial relationships, and/or a potential geographic move.  In the sessions, a coach would provide tools and techniques for the client to find their own truths.  This is done very creatively through dreaming big, processing emotions, choosing perspectives, and becoming even more self-aware.  Clients tend to hire therapists if something is holding them back in a major way.  It could be the need to work through a deep depression, an eating disorder, or a childhood trauma.  Therapists are well equipped to diagnose the issue at hand and support clients to get through these weighted issues.

c) The venue: Where the work happens differs too.  Coaching is most often done via phone or Skype.  While I was skeptical of working via phone at first, I’ve come to realize it’s very freeing for clients.  They can take the call from a conference room at work, hire a coach who lives in a different part of the world based on fit and have the freedom to not be watched while they process and do the exercises in the privacy of their own room.  Therapy is most often done in person.

Hopefully this shed some light on the similarities and differences of coaching and therapy.  I encourage you to solicit other opinions as well, especially if you’re considering utilizing one of these valuable resources in the near future!  As you decide whether or not you're ready to do this work- or if you know your answer is yes and aren’t sure which route to take- I’d love to be a resource to you.  You know where to find me!

Growing Your Gratitude

Even the most positive people need to tend to their gratitude gardens sometimes.  The soil gets dry, the flowers get wilted, and- let's be honest- it can start to stink.  A month ago, I found myself with a dry, neglected gratitude garden.  I was waking up in the morning and laying down at night thinking about mountains of logistics and small annoyances.  Did I remember to pack school lunch? Oh no, tomorrow is trash day! Did I respond to that email? My daughter was really getting on my nerves tonight. Did I handle that situation poorly? Needless to say, it wasn't a good feeling to live in the muck and I knew something had to be done.

That's when the gratitude journal was born.  Research says that if a person does something for 20-65 days a habit is formed.  So, for 30 consecutive days I went looking for something to be grateful for. The first week, my phone calendar would alert me to find that wonderful thing.  Even though I was out of practice, I was surprised how easy it was to find at least one daily.  A few weeks into the exercise the reminder wasn't necessary; the looking out was happening naturally.  By week 3, I was waking up ready to put on my rose colored glasses with my eye on the prize of LASIK surgery to get rose colored vision (not actually a real thing).  I was deeply appreciating everything from my husband's mad cooking skills to my current dream work situation to my awesome, cuddly daughters.  Suddenly my focus was no longer on every day annoyances but on every day beauty.  What a dramatic and necessary shift!

If you want to shift your thoughts and energy to that which is positive in your life, I encourage you to start a journal.  There's something magical about actually writing it down.  It's a way of putting a stake in the ground to say "Yes! I do feel this way!".  To build accountability and community support into your process, express your daily gratitude on social media.  Let's see how the gratitude seeds spread with in us and around us!  Ready, set.... grow!  

6 Likes